If Only He Would Stare At His Wife

~

When old houses have shut windows,

with no air to ventilate or sun to shine—

they catch mould just because

the doors were closed:

someone forgot / tried / decided to

preserve the old in a way that guides

rot into your home to your wife

who you cannot stare very long at

for the fear she might stare back at you

and you would glimpse the hurt in her eyes

the disappointment she faces in your adultery

when she discovered that work was your first wife

you’d see the lacklustre in those eyes

for after finding out about your love affair

she got trapped in a dutiful loveless marriage

“a workplace” an unreasonable justification

holding no weight in the courts where she resides

she’d in fact thank her stars that at least she was better off

that he could’ve done more than just stare at her

thank god that he is dutiful, lovelessness is relatively fine

for marital rape in her country is still not criminalised

she’d rather be safe and settled

and just smile even when it doesn’t reach her eyes;

if only he would stare at his wife—

become curious of what lay behind those eyes,

but work remained his one true love and she was only a wife;

in her part of the world, with women of her time

sadly, no man lovingly stares at his wife

let alone read what her eyes sometimes speak 

or understand what they very often hide.

~

THE CONTEXT OF THE POEM

The context of this poem is important, as it was inspired by a (controversial) news report in India from early 2025.

Here I use ChatGPT to summarise the contextual information:

The phrase “stare at your wife” refers to a major 2025 controversy in India involving S.N. Subrahmanyan, the Chairman and Managing Director of Larsen & Toubro (L&T). His remark, made while advocating for a 90-hour work week, sparked widespread backlash and a national debate on work-life balance. 

Details of the Controversy

• The Comment: During an internal meeting video that went viral, Subrahmanyan urged employees to work on Sundays, stating, “What do you do sitting at home? How long can you stare at your wife? How long can wives stare at husbands? Get to the office and start working”.
• The Context: This comment was part of a broader argument in which he advocated for a rigorous, 90-hour work week, citing a comparison to a purported 90-hour work culture in China as a model for India’s growth. This followed a similar debate ignited months earlier by Infosys co-founder Narayana Murthy’s call for a 70-hour work week.
• The Reaction: The remarks were widely condemned as misogynistic and dismissive of personal life and mental health, drawing criticism from social media users, celebrities, politicians, and other business leaders.
• Notable Responses:
  • Anand Mahindra, Chairman of the Mahindra Group, famously countered the remark by saying, “My wife is wonderful, I love staring at her”.
  • Adar Poonawalla, CEO of the Serum Institute of India, echoed this sentiment, saying his wife also loves staring at him on Sundays.
  • Brands like Durex and Zomato also participated with satirical social media posts.
• Aftermath: Subrahmanyan later mentioned that even his own wife was upset that her name had been dragged into the public controversy. L&T defended the comments as being “taken out of context” and reflective of the “extraordinary effort” required for nation-building. 

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Please feel free to dive deeper into the facts of this piece in your own time.